1993

01 DO U DARE Do U dare 2 let me in Do U care 2 make me kin Do U swear 2 keep yourself 4 me...NB: My first attempt @ songwriting - a lame pop song, will not insult your eyes with the rest of the lyrix. 

02 KIND OF GREEN  From what I’ve heard I know U’ve been in love B4, U’ve seen the joy & pain that union brings.  You’re older by some years, the innocence is gone, Your streetwise essence I find so appealing.  Perhaps experience has made U cautious, unwilling 2 take risks where love’s concerned.  Our gap in age is true, that’s why I hesitate.  My love has hidden itself well.  Now time has passed & I can safely call U friend & now I feel we’re ready 2 progress 2 more U must know now what I want us 2 B.  I know I’m kind of green, I’m asking 4 your help, will U please teach me how 2 love.  They say lovers spend a lot of time 2gether talking  kissing walking hand in hand.  Staring in2 eyes making love all night sharing wine & music by the fire.  Tell me should we plan a romantic dinner.  Candles champagne table set 4 2, then leave the food untouched 2 nourish other hungers.  It sounds cliched but I’m new at this please guide me through.  I’ve never felt this way 4 any other & I must live out what I have come 2 know inside tell me how 2 bring out the love I know is in you.  I know I’m kind of green & love ain’t learned from movie screens.  I need you 2 teach me how 2 love…

03 AMAZONIAN LADY Well just the other day I was jogging along my merry way, trying to get fit minding my business,a regular day to me.  When a boy confronted me holding his hands out close to my chest he said “U seem 2 need a little support there and missy I’d sure B keen.” My first reaction was so what, it’s been done B4.  But then I remembered my amazon rage and a voice within me roared.  Within me within me within me roared roared, within me within me within me roared Oh I want 2 B an Amazonian Lady.  I want 2 run like the wind each muscle pumping strong & step on all the rats that do me wrong & by the way if I could B an Amazonian Lady I would toss the scales, outrage the fashion stales by adoring every inch of me.  While all this was on my mind that cheeky boy pinched my behind he said “why did U stop 4, U must enjoy it I’ll give U some more.”  & there and then I knew his teasing days were truly through, 1 powerful kick 2 the overheated wick it’ll B a long while B4 he’s doing the do.  Doing the doing the doing the do do Doing the doing the doing the do....so girls it can come true, Amazonian can work 4 U if U’re intimidated by unwanted attentions nip it in the bud.  As 4 the other aforementioned, don’t B ashamed of your womanly bod, flaunt it or not B proud of what U’ve got.  It’s unique it’s U it’s Amazonian.  Ama Ama zo zonian an Ama Ama zo zonian!...

04 AHMEN  Ahmen, what do we do with them, do we take them seriously or just in fun.  Ahmen, what do we do with them when they leave U crying, Ahmen.  Once I thought I knew the joy of love, the happiness that togetherness brings, the romance & the ecstasy.  I was optimistic I could find a man 2 fulfil all my dreams & stick around a long long time.  But in retrospect was I naïve, I’ve learned that there are games 2 play & little hope of guarantee with sex & love & intimacy.  Love can B such a drain, sometimes it doesn’t seem worth the pain, but with my man I’ll always try again.  Understanding why men act their way is reasonably simple U C, we’re all victims of society.  But knowing about masculinity doesn’t make it easier when it clashes with femininity.  Communication between us & them is often tough & always incomplete.  He sees black when she knows its navy, they can only agree to disagree.  Difference breeds desire, friction causes fire, come on now forget the struggle & lets love take us higher higher Ahmen, want 2 get close 2 them, want 2 take his head & heart as he takes mine, Ahmen, time 4 the war to end, time 2 embrace humankind, ahmen.  Ahmen 4 our men, ahmen 4 our men, ahmen 4 our men...

05 ROBE TOAST & SITCOMS  She spends half her time in a daydream thinking how things will improve just as soon as that lucky break happens she’ll B in league with the happy ones soon but till then she is content to wait, till then she’ll accept her fate till the time that she feels that it’s OK to need, till then she’ll hibernate, till then she’s her only mate.  She drives herself stir-crazy some days finding small comfort in mountains of toast.  the TV regurgitates rubbish, sitcoms she’s sat through since she was a kid in her robe on a Saturday night, now the only thing changed is her height & her low self esteem & her loud inner scream & her twice-shy reserve from a first bite, her twice-shy reserve from that first bite.  & they say girl you really shouldn’t eat so much, don’t sit at home all night with crap TV.  Live life while you’re young my dear B4 U grow 2 old 2 care, her silent reply always sounds the same as it echoes in her mind and causes pain - why should I risk heart & soul 2 a bunch of people I don’t know when the 1 I love the most has betrayed me, the 1 I love the most has betrayed me.  She’s touched by their means-well concern but sighs silently coz they don’t understand how her robe & her toast & her sitcoms give her something she could never envisage getting from people outside & so she continues 2 hide in her own prison cell, the key’s thrown 2 hell by the burned hands she knows so well, she hasn’t healed so well...

06 I MATTER Oh I matter & noone can negate me & my presence makes a difference & not only 2 me Oh I matter I cannot B erased & I can change my world The answer is in me... NB: I was in2 power ballads & this song was up there with the worst of Whitney/Mariah...(think "Greatest Love of All" or "Hero"  sung by a pimply plump uni student lacking the pipes 2 pull it off)  warts n'all here people :o)

1994

07 ODE 2 CHARLOTTE  Long ago & far away in a harsh but sacred land there lived a nuclear family six children wife & man, but mother & 2 daughters were doomed 2 an early grave.  Whilst father grieved the 3 remaining girls escaped in books & plays.  The trio's reading led their dreaming thru a merry dance of affluent society & colourful romance.  Tho lack of food caused growing girls some physical defects philosophers & poets fed their hungry hungry hungry intellects.  The eldest Charlotte Bronte small & weaker than the rest was sent off 2 B educated 4 the post of governess, tho such employment left her feeling empty & depressed she kept her dream alive 1 day she'd B an authoress.  Sweet Miss Charlotte so sad & unsure, yet thru the words of Currer Bell her tiny voice did roar.  Pale timid Charlotte constant suffering made her strong.  Her mighty courage held her high tho fate had done her wrong.  While studying in Belgium Charlotte fell 4 her Monsieur but only thru the written word could she seek a love cure.  Her unrequited love was consummated on a page.  Passion spilled as ink on paper writing quelled love's rage.  & tho her teeth were falling from the gums that pained her so & tho her eyes could only gaze @ dark & bleak shadow & tho a parasitic sadness 8 away her heart & tho her sex was downcast Charlotte wrote her stormy art.  Hard work transformed talent in2 genius x 3 with eloquence surpassing those more glorified than she each Bronte strove 2 write her poignant msg fervently, they longed 4 justice in the world compassion was the key.  Heathcliffe Cathy Miss Jane Eyre the Tenant @ Wildfell were destined 4 much greater fame than their maker's could 4tell, when Charlotte recognised the girls wrote worx worthy of pay her efforts 2 seek publishment earned them immortality un2 this day.  A double tragedy took Anne & Emily away, both strong in mind until the end tho bodies in decay, poor Charlotte left 2 bear the stress of Bronte fame alone rejected high society 4 her isolated home.  Certified a spinster in the end Charlotte was wed & during months of marital bliss our heroine was fed the male love she'd craved thruout her lonely life but sickness saw she only spent her last few moments on earth as a wife.  Sweet Miss Charlotte why did U go her husband cried I love U so at least I know U'll B happy there & we'll always have Jane Eyre...

08 STANDING THERE  Yes I’d admit most of my life has been lived for a dream, I’ve only hung around 2 C what the future will bring.  They say U should savour what U have don’t waste time waiting 4 what may never B.  That's all very well if U have wot U need but I had 2 wait 4 that elusive something.  Deep down inside I had 2 believe there'd B a turning point away from the pain.  I didnt know how or when or mayB even who would lift me up again 2 where I was when I was very young but I knew I'd have that joy again, my life would B more fun.  So many years I tried my damndest to go it alone, I’d constantly pick myself out of the mire and B strong on my own.  But U C this deep dark void in my heart stopped me succeeding 2 much outside.  It said it’s only U, U don’t deserve 2 win, no one cares go run & hide.  And 4 the millionth time down I'd go crawling in2 my personal black hole, I felt sort of safe there but so alone, Where the hell was my salvation, I was so sick of this excuse I called my home.  U were standing there right infront of me, but because I’d been so used 2 Cing nothing at all at first I couldn’t c U standing there persistently so patiently loving me.  Thank God I finally opened my eyes and found my true happiness in your lurve.  From the time U laid your eyes on me I metamorphasized.  I began 2 wear a smile began 2 believe that perhaps I was worthwhile.  those little painful feelings still lingered every other day but U were here & I could deal with them in a more level headed way.  Now I can laugh it took so long 4 me 2 wake & C.  That joy & beauty I somehow acquired its your sweet sweet gift 2 me.  Your sunny smile is always with me even when I am alone.  After years of nothing U inspired me to reach to heights, heights I could never get to on my own.  U were standing there right infront of me, 4 so long I was blind but U healed me.  Standing there, now I’ve found the man I love I’ll always C, Thank God I finally opened my eyes & found my true happiness in your ... NB: a soppy if heartfelt tribute 2 the boyfriend of the moment